How to Prepare for Divorce: A Lawyer’s Guide to Divorce Preparation

Wondering how to prepare for divorce?

Preparing for divorce can involve different steps for different people. Remember: a peaceful exit is always the easiest on your finances and emotions. If you are ready to call it quits, here’s what you need to know before you do.

The arguments.

The disagreements.

The loud silence.

The quiet tension.

Even the silence can be unbearable when you are stuck in a situation that feels hopeless or uncertain.

Maybe you want to leave because the relationship is toxic.

Maybe you two get along, but happily ever after is just not in the cards. You both have different views on life and you want to go in different directions.

Whatever the reason, sometimes the best laid plans simply don’t materialize.

Missed timing.

Bad luck.

Wrong choices.

Who knows?

No matter how you got here, the question now is how do you prepare for what’s next when you are ready to call it quits and “officially” untie the knot.

How to Prepare for Divorce in London, Ontario

I can’t say that I’ve seen it all, but as a London divorce lawyer, one thing I can say for certain is that the legal side of divorce has two typical couple “types”.

One type that I see is a couple who can’t stand each other and who want to battle it out in court and fight about everything to the bitter end. This is what is called a contested divorce. This is the legal term for a divorce where neither party can reach an agreement.

The other type is a couple that is determined to negotiate and agree on as much as possible. This keeps costs down (so there is more money left over for their future).

When the negotiations are concluded, the result is usually an uncontested divorce or consent divorce.

Hint: the first couple in this example usually ends up spending tens of thousands of dollars in legal fees and may spend years in court.

A divorce process with a lot of conflict will drag out, leaving both parties emotionally and financially drained. Many couples will still walk away not getting everything they wanted to begin with. If this is your situation, it is important to choose a lawyer that will focus on diffusing the conflict and keeping your costs down.

The second couple has good communication and a forward looking attitude. They are able to legally and fairly bring things to a close, hopefully amicably, and with a degree of control over the outcome. Afterwards, they are in a position to move on with their lives.

Obviously, you want to be the second couple!

Where things get complicated is where you and your spouse have good communication, you have children, own a home or a business, or hold other assets together, you have retirement or investment accounts. The temptation is to sit down at the kitchen table and make a deal. There are plenty of self-help options online and the reality is you can probably take the “DIY approach” and knock out everything in an afternoon. But can you really predict the future?

Maybe you two have substantial savings and/or combined assets.

Maybe one of you (or both of you) owns a business.

Maybe you two have considerable debt.

Maybe one of you has recently received a substantial inheritance.

What about child and spousal support in the future?

These are just some areas where knowledge of the law matters, and these are the areas where you should rely on a professional to help guide you both down an equitable path that protects and preserves each of your assets and makes life after divorce a smooth transition.

How you prepare for divorce really depends on your unique situation. If you and your spouse have good communication and get along enough to talk through what’s next and have an amicable divorce, you can work together (with a lawyer) to draft a separation agreement that alleviates all of your worries and separation fears, allowing you both to move on.

Divorce Preparation: Creating an Exit Strategy

If you want to know how to prepare for divorce, like most things in life, the devil is in the details.

You need an exit strategy.

There are a number of things you want to get in order.

• Keep a journal. You want to build evidence that supports your position on custody. It’s important to document conversations, arguments, facts, times or dates that may be important to your case and allow your lawyer to get you the outcome you want.
• Document all financial information. You need to have a clear picture of the financial situation. Itemize any and all shared assets and make a list of what each of you own separately. You’ll need to be able to prove your financial situation on the date of marriage as well as at the date of separation. You’ll need bank statements, credit card statements, loan statements….Keep everything.
• Establish a budget. This will be key to understanding exactly how much money you will need post-divorce. This information will be needed when completing the required forms for a divorce in London.
• Speak to a divorce lawyer. If you are a high net worth individual and are worried about getting taken advantage of in court, it’s important to discuss your concerns before you make any drastic decisions or talk to your spouse about divorce. You should go into the conversation with a clear picture of what may happen. Understanding the legal implications will help you and your lawyer (if you decide to retain one) work out a plan that maximizes your chances of getting the outcome you want.
• Talk to your spouse. This will be a difficult conversation, but if you’ve gotten this far it likely won’t be a complete surprise to your spouse. The best thing you can do is approach the situation in a non-confrontational, open way. The goal here is not to communicate blame, but to let your partner know that you have decided to separate and you want to move forward together without conflict.
• Talk to your kid(s). This may not apply to everyone, but if you have children, the most important thing you can do is work together to have an amicable divorce, where both of you focus on their best interests, and not on the differences that ended your marriage. Separation is extremely difficult for kids, but your child will handle the situation better if they see you and your co-parent working together peacefully.
• Create a separation agreement. If you don’t want to battle in court and spend thousands of dollars making each other miserable, the best thing you can do is work together on your divorce. This is where a good collaborative divorce lawyer can be invaluable. They will help you structure an agreement that prevents legal “gotchas” that leave open the possibility of future litigation and gets your divorce finalized quickly.

How to Prepare for a Divorce Now

Persevering through a relationship that isn’t working doesn’t help anyone. It’s not healthy for you or your spouse. It’s not healthy for your children. If you can feel the tension, so can they.

Sometimes, the best thing you can do is to take the next step.

If you have questions about divorce or separation agreements or how the collaborative divorce process works, book a consultation today.